BARACKTASTIC

So, tonight is THE night you’ve all been waiting for all of your lives. The only problem is that you didn’t know it. You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you. Well, turn on your TV for a moment, pick up your local fishwrap, or get on the internet and you will know exactly what I’m talking about. People in newsrooms all over the country are about to burst with excitement for “their guy”. Tonight something more exciting and intriguing than the circus coming to town when you were a kid is happening. Tonight something more important than the discovery of Penicillin and gravity is happening. Tonight something that is more of a phenomenon than the Beetles on the Ed Sullivan show is happening. It is all over the news and everywhere else. You can’t get away from it, because it is just that big. Just ask the media, they’ll tell you. NOTHING this important has ever happened anywhere. Heck they needed a Football Stadium that seats 76 plus thousand people and that cost more than $364 million dollars to build to house the thing. They needed a set that looked like the Acropolis to equal the import of the actual occurrence. It has been anticipated for months and talked about constantly for weeks. I just can’t believe it is finally here. I am so excited, and I can’t wait. . . . NOT!

You see, it’s actually something really simple actually. It is a political speech by a presidential candidate at the end of his party’s convention. It has happened many times before. So unless he lives up to his media hype and actually walks on water, it will really be just another political speech. The United States political process has been around for 232 years. We have already had 43 presidents, and we’re trying to find the 44th. There have been numerous speeches just like this one. But wait, have there? If you listen to the media, no one like this tremendous man has ever been in this situation. He is: amazing, stupendous, super-colossal, wonderful, and . . . . NOT REAL.

I say: “Don’t believe the hype”. Look, he is truly the definition of an empty suit. He has no executive experience to speak of at all. He has been in the Senate for a short period of time, and has spent most of that campaigning and not voting. His only other experience is in the Illinois State Legislature. This is the man with all the Hype? Yes, it is! He is all words and no action. He is an amazingly captivating speaker, but says absolutely nothing.

So, then why is this night like no other and this man like no one we’ve ever seen? Well to find that out we must get to the bottom line of who his supporters really are. So let’s list them: all liberals, most news media members, Hollywood, and people who rely on the government for their living. So, what do these people love and want more than anything? They want: bigger government and more stuff from it, they want a watered down military that “just get’s along with the world”, they want to be able to live their lives with no moral compass, and most of all they want anyone but Bush.

So, as you get your popcorn and remote ready for tonight, my TV will be off as it has been all week. You can listen to the fluff till you are bloated with it. You can cheer, or laugh, or even get angry. I will not be watching. I have heard enough of nothing from the empty suit. So, someone please call me tomorrow if he actually drops ANYTHING of substance.

I will say one thing for sure. This empty suit has solidified my stance this week finally. I will be marching to the poll against my better judgment to pull the lever for Mr. McCain for sure. As a matter of fact I’d like to pass along a piece of advice for the McCain camp. Just shut-up! Barack is already doing the best campaigning for you. The people you will finally get sick of this madness and flock to the polls in November for McCain. You just need to sit back and say very little. The base is angry. They are all lying in wait and saying they will not vote for you. But mark my words, they will! They will come out in unbelievable numbers like you have never seen and McCain will easily win.

Please Lord let it be true!

That’s my 2.5 cents, take it or leave it!